PSL: For Hermann

[not_kenway]

Ratonhnhaké:ton had left Hermann safely in his locked up apartment, sleeping off the massage and hopefully getting a decent night's rest without his body screaming pain at him.

he slipped back into his routine. Late nights out on rooftops, sleeping not really enough hours to get up and train and get on with his day.

He didn't contact Hermann. He didn't know when Hermann would be comfortable with seeing him again, so he would wait for him to make contact.

Comments

[not_kenway]

"I know. You respect my need for space. I am grateful for that."

He gave a small smile at the addendum. "I could easily carry you, yes, but that doesn't mean you couldn't be a danger, if you chose. And my... reactions do not seem to be entirely rational."

It was not just training, in other words. Connor had hefty amounts of what, in modern days, would be called PTSD.

[orthogonal]

Hermann smiled a little, before he went back to cooking, but it was clear he was disturbed by all he had heard. He frowned down at the frying pan.

"I am usually not one for therapy, my dear Connor ... but have you considered it?"

[not_kenway]

Therapy, a word meaning treatment for a condition. He thought about that and tried to give it context, but he couldn't piece it into the conversation.

"I do not understand."

[orthogonal]

"Well ... you have odd reactions to people trying to touch you. In many cases, that would mean that you have deeper issues that you wish to speak to someone about." Hermann explained, as he continued making their dinner.

[not_kenway]

"Most people find my reactions... strange. I simply assumed it was a result of my training." Most people didn't start assassin's training at thirteen. Mind you, when he thought about it, he hated being touched back then as well. Kanen was all right, but he also knew Kanen would never hurt him and couldn't take him.

In fact, now he thought about it, he had controlled all those interactions as well. He hummed slightly, frowning. "You... may be right that I am unusual. I do not know what to do about it, though."

Therapy wasn't really a thing in the 1770's.

[orthogonal]

"Well, here in the modern age ... we have people called psychologists." He wasn't sending the man to a psychiatrist, they'd try to put him on some sort of modern drugs that he wasn't quite sure Connor could handle. "You go to them, and they listen to you while you talk. They're able to help you deal with your past issues."

He paused, and sighed. Heavily. "I .. went to one after I lost my legs. Mandatory. It didn't do me a lot of good - I am ten times smarter than they are, after all. However, it might not do you any harm even though you are at least five times smarter than them on a good day."

[not_kenway]

"And that helps? Talking to them about..." He wasn't sure what. Past issues. Whatever that was. Maybe things like 'my mother was burning to death until the longhouse fell on her'. "You believe it would help me with my extreme aversion to contact?"

Many people overlooked that Connor was clever. Very clever. He spoke multiple languages, he managed an entire town and a spy network on his own and still managed to research his assassinations while helping to fight a way. "Does being smarter matter if all they have to do is listen?"

[orthogonal]

"Well, it always helps to have an unbiased opinion - and a sounding board. If nothing else ... you will be able to realize when they are leading you someplace, to work on a deeper issue. It is up to you, my friend, if you want to work on that issue." Yes, he is gesturing with a spatula.

[not_kenway]

Connor is quiet for a while as he thinks about it. He doesn't know if talking will help. He knows that here, at least, it won't hurt him. At home, being vulnerable was being dead. But this is not home. Haytham and Lee are not watching and waiting to slip the blade between his ribs.

"Do you know someone who does this talk treatment?"

[orthogonal]

"I do not, but I can ask around. I know a great deal of people." He gave the other man a long, considering look. "We'll make sure that you find someone good to go with."

[not_kenway]

Connor didn't know if he'd be able to open up to a stranger, but just as he sought to alleviate Hermann's pain, he recognised that Hermann was trying to alleviate his.

He reached to his necklace, stroking one of the bear claws with his fingers, thumb pressing over the tip. "I taught myself to not flinch at a hand on my shoulder or a hand shake. Those are both common from the men of the liberty army. Especially Washington. He is very tactile with me."

[orthogonal]

"You know, I find it so odd to think of Washington as a tactile man... he seems so stern and foreboding in his portraits." Hermann paused, and then gently let the conversation shift happen. "So tell me about him. What was he really like?"

[not_kenway]

"Well, for me he is tactile. He likes to grip my forearm or bicep, pat the shoulder, that sort of thing." Which weren't really overly tactile, except to a people who kept their contact to a minimum, especially with strangers.

"He is a very confident leader and general. I am not certain that his confidence is entirely warranted, but confident he is. He is very even tempered, which endears him to many, compared with Lee's temper. My people call Lee, hm.... Boiling Water." He had to take the moment to translate in his mind. "It is one reason why he was chosen to lead the Revolution, rather than Lee."

He always had a slightly prickled feeling about Washington. He wasn't sure why. The man had done nothing to deserve Connor's wariness and he still showed as a neutral ally.

[orthogonal]

"Interesting ... " For someone who did not touch as much as Hermann did, outside of sex of course, that was fairly tactile. "So he is a confident leader - even tempered - and yet ... yet I feel as if I am missing some part of the equation." He sighed, shaking his head. "My suspicious nature, I suppose."

[not_kenway]

Connor was quiet for a moment. "He is not a good general," he confided. "He is quite a poor general, he has no mind for strategy and war. Lafayette may be the only chance the revolution has of defeating the loyalist troops. And... I have stubbornly stuck by the man's side, because my father dislikes him, but he makes me uncomfortable."

He wasn't sure why. Something about how Washington looked at him made him uncomfortable, but he didn't know why.

[orthogonal]

"You know, that's surprising. It is rumored that he was actually a fairly strong tactical mind, but he had poor support from his own generals, outside of Lafayette of course." He took the pancakes out of the frying pan, putting them onto the plate.

[not_kenway]

"He may have a strong tactical mind, but he does not understand troops. Perhaps in the purest sense of understanding war he is fine, but he is yet to actually win a single battle he has engaged in. Haytham despairs of his ability to defeat the crown."

[orthogonal]

"Well, I suppose that would make for a bad leader. Especially the ones that I know - they acknowledged how to use their people more effectively."

[not_kenway]

Connor gives a slight shrug. "I am not well versed in commanding for war. I have a few people who have... I work with them. They have joined the Brotherhood, we form a network. I send them missions based on their skills. I do not think I could do so on a much larger scale."

He closes his eyes and inhales deeply. "It is smelling good... Would you be willing to help me with my German? I speak it passably, but not as well as I speak English or French."

[orthogonal]

"I haven't done leadership myself - brain tank operations are more my game. In fact I have only had ... one partner in so many years and he annoys the living daylights out of me."

Hermann looked pleased again. "Excellent, for it is almost done." Surprise filled his gaze, but he nodded. "Certainly, my friend. Go ahead, give me a few phrases you know."

[not_kenway]

"I know some German. Mostly for trade. Weight, costs, lengths." His accent rolled though the German words, dragging the words together a bit more than most German or English speaking natives would.

"I could order a half weight of stone and negotiate the price, but my more conversational German is lacking," he elaborated in English. "I also could not say 'I am very much looking forward to eating that if it tastes half as good as it smells'."

[orthogonal]

Hermann twitched a little bit, before he gave the other man a wry look. "So, there we go. We have some work to do, but you are as you say, passable." He smiled softly, before he spoke slowly, "Ich freue mich sehr darauf, zu essen , wenn es nur halb so gut schmeckt , wie es riecht."

[not_kenway]

Connor parroted the words back, copying Hermann's accent more than his natural tendency in German.

"That is one thing I have found surprising from many who come further ahead in time than myself. Most speak only one language. Maybe two."

[orthogonal]

He nodded his head with approval, before turning back to the food. The sausages were ready, so he turned off the heat, and plated them, then going to plate the potato pancakes as well, as soon as they were golden brown on both sides.

"Well, it was a matter of education, really. As the nobility started to thin out, the middle class rose, but they couldn't afford lessons in multiple languages. So most people only learn one or two now."

[not_kenway]

"... I know no nobility. My education is Latin and Arabic was provided by the Brotherhood... well, by Achilles, but German and French were necessary for interacting with colonists. And I was raised bilingual. My mother was fluent in English as well."

He offered to take the plates, to give Hermann free hands for at least the walking cane.